RESPONSE TO A HATER

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I’m a writer, and I’ve always had a lot to say. Lucky for me, I have an outlet for that. If you don’t like what I have to say, you can choose to stop reading it. If you don’t like seeing my photos, you can choose to not look at them. Obviously, the U.S. is a free country and you are not being forced to hear my opinions. I’ll be the first to admit that I myself find a lot of people and things very annoying in daily life. This is why I choose not to engage with those people or things. It’s pretty simple if you have half a brain.

I strive to refrain from being judgmental of others, and to refrain from name calling. Refraining from being judgmental of others can be very challenging. There have been many times in my life that I have befriended someone or I have even dated someone, whom might not be well liked by others. I have always chosen to form my own conclusions and not listen to what others think, but to see for myself. Sometimes this can have explosive consequences. With a few boyfriends, they got drunk and verbally abusive. This is the first time a girl has done anything similar, and it didn’t surprise me, but it did amuse me that it was done in a Facebook message, kind of how I’d picture a teenage girl to attack someone. It appears to be a drunken nonsensical late night Facebook rant, fueled by her own issues.

I have not seen this girl in person since 2010, when I visited Austin and she was living there. I originally met her in San Francisco when she dated my ex-boyfriend of 2 years, right after I did. One of his roommates and a few friends had said the girl was “crazy” and “annoying,” but it didn’t deter me because when we met, I found her amusing. I’ll admit, I have liked a lot of crazy people. I still do find her amusing actually, because this terrible stuff she wrote has entertained me for the last few days since I received it. I knew her reputation was that she was “crazy” and ” a drunk,” and I didn’t care. It was actually kind of big of me to befriend the girl who dated my ex right after me, but this is the kind of person I am– I take chances and I can handle it if it doesn’t pan out.

For my own amusement now, I am going to respond publicly to her hateful words. Since she thinks it’s perfectly fine to spew hate and negativity at me, I feel no moral obligation whatsoever to keep this private. She opened herself up to this by targeting someone who writes a blog and has readers!

She said: Your a idiot cunt..you honestly your annoying…your not the only one in life that had looks and issues..difference is we don’t talk about it to get attention..if you want to be Anita hill then do something with your life..stop promoting how stuck on yourself you are…you want to promote anything start a change..sign petitions help younger girls do something with yourself your story is lame…fuck..its been like over 15 yrs now with you or something..hid get a real job house or something just do something..no one cares about your fucking hair or your looks..I and myself have plenty of friends that can knock your I’m so pretty no one likes me bullshit..grow up..no one likes you your just an asshole poser..period..

Uuuuhhhhh…honestly your exhausting..btw no one is jealous of you!!!!!! They just find you exhausting and annoying!!!”

Here’s my response: I assume she is referring to a blog post I wrote titled “Judging me on How I Look,” that I published on January 5. I know I’m not the only woman who has had issues with my looks. It’s a subject matter many women can relate to, which is why I chose to write about it. (DUH.) “We don’t talk about it to get attention”... Well, maybe you aren’t writers writing about your personal experiences, but pick up any women’s magazine, and a lot of women write about this stuff.

“Do something in my life… promote change… sign petitions”... Well, I do actually, all the time. In addition to that, I have been collecting donations and donating to Larkin Street Youth Center for Homeless Youth in my neighborhood for the last 3 years in my spare time, and my close friends are aware of it, although it’s not something I “try to get attention for.” I do try to get attention for my writing, because I am trying to grow as a writer and share my experiences with others.

“fuck..its been like over 15 yrs now with you or something..” –Yes, I met you about 15 years ago. That is accurate. If you were annoyed with me the entire time, I have no idea why you became friends with me.

As far as “promoting how stuck on myself” I am (according to her)… that’s obviously her perception. Anyone reading my writing can probably tell it’s personal, honest, revealing and at times self-deprecating. Also, what do you all usually see in your Facebook feed? I see photos of my friends, their pets, friends and loved ones, their homes, cars, food they like, opinions and experiences they choose to share, etc. It could be said that EVERYONE seems stuck on themselves on Facebook, if you want to look at it that way, which I don’t. I see it as everyone sharing their lives with one another, period.

“Get a real job or something” is the part that probably sparked me to want to actually write this response. Those who know me know that I usually have multiple jobs at a time, and am a very motivated go-getter. I think that pissed me off because I have very publicly been having a vocal disability/ health issue that has rendered me currently (temporarily) disabled to work as I was. I bartended 8 years at Elbo Room, 2 years at The Fillmore, 1 year at Red Devil Lounge (for a while doing all three at one time), as well as having my own business, Ultra Glam Hair, doing Hair Extensions in a salon, and being the sole Publicist for the Viva Las Vegas Rockabilly Weekend, which is the largest Rockabilly event in the WORLD. The last I heard, this girl was working as a maid. There is nothing wrong with that, as some of my friends know, when my vocal problems started, I started cleaning friend’s houses to keep working while I haven’t had full use of my voice. I also started a clothing line, Punk Majesty, using positive messages like “Nothing Can Break Me” and the like to help me stay busy and find a way to have a voice when I literally didn’t. I also write 2 blogs, which I get a lot of compliments and encouragement from. Telling me OF ALL PEOPLE to get a job, or DO SOMETHING is the most insulting thing of all.

“No one cares about your hair or your fucking looks”— First of all, I never asked anyone to, you delusional idiot hater (yes, I have lowered myself to name-calling for once). Second of all, since I get calls and emails every week requesting Hair Extension consultations, and have people almost every day out in the world tell me they like my hair, you are clearly wrong.

“I and myself have plenty of friends that can knock your I’m so pretty no one likes me bullshit..” I have never, nor will ever think “I’m so pretty, no one likes me.” That is fucking ridiculous. I am truly flattered when anyone thinks I’m pretty, but I am not at all full of myself, which anyone who read that piece on looks should have absorbed.

“grow up..no one likes you your just an asshole poser..period..” I know it’s not true that “no one likes me.” I have a lot of lovely friends all over the world who would never attack someone the way that she has. And if I am a “poser” I’ve really committed to it, since I still love punk rock and have remained true to that since I was a teenager, which has been half of my life. When I broke my front tooth at a punk show recently at 41 years old, I didn’t trip on it because this is my chosen lifestyle and it’s not that big of a deal to me. The guy who accidentally caused it even offered to pay to get it fixed, and I said, “Don’t worry about it, all is fair in Rock n Roll… just buy me a drink.” Also, if I was so concerned with how I look, I probably wouldn’t have posted the most unflattering photo of my getting my tooth fixed at the dental school for everyone’s amusement.

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Uuuuhhhhh…honestly your exhausting..btw no one is jealous of you!!!!!! They just find you exhausting and annoying!!!” — I would never want anyone to be jealous of me. Who the hell would want that? I have never met anyone more exhausting or annoying than the girl who wrote this, so it takes one to know one I guess.

If anyone wants to comment on any of this, I invite you to do so. I enjoyed sharing it, as I like for something positive to come from something negative. The positive thing that’s come out of it for me, was someone showed me their true colors and I deleted them from my “friend” list; I was truly amused by her pathetic nastiness, and by sharing it with others, have received an outpouring of support for me and my writing, from good people, which I really appreciate! Most of all, this “idiot cunt” (her words, not mine) gave me something new to write about, so THANKS, Hater. Go live your probably extremely full and rewarding life.

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2 comments

  1. Ah yes, it is amazing how much energy people will expend to prove exactly the opposite of what they are ranting about. Yes, Facebook is a forum of narcissism. There are people out there who genuinely believe every meal they eat is significant. Even more astounding are these rants and meltdowns, meant to ‘expose’ another person or situation, that are more revealing and narcissistic on the part of the ranter. I was recently the target of a drunken, middle of the night rant that of course anyone who knew me would know was total crap. There will always be people who will not filter this stuff out, but they are not the people whose opinions matter. People click like without thinking. There is always some crazy person who will get sympathy from another crazy person. They gravitate to each other. It’s the double edged sword of social networking.

  2. You go girl , this bitch only knew you for 15 years But ive got 30years of knowing you and you clearly are not an idiot Cunt… However I think she might have been projecting her feelings about her self right at you…. Bless her heart She’s such a gem you just have to laugh at that shit…. XoT

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